If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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