I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
