gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
