ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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