she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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