Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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