I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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