Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
