need another drink. this is the easiest way
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
