As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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