Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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