We're like a lot better than the average bears
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
