garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
