I looked at my own cervix.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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