Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
