All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I love you. Go after that dick
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
