So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
