I hope mine doesn't look like that
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
