If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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