Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize