some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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