Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
