Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Your dad touched me again.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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