you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
