you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
