She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
