I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You are the jesus of drinking
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