how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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