Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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