the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
