they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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