so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
