Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
