what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
