i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
