Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
