I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I wear drunk well.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
