When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
