Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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