There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
