At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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