it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
