So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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