youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
