she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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