you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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