Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize