This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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