Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you win again, gameday.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
