how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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