You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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